You are more than your job title.

by Pippa Rauch

One of the most common themes I see in my practice, with both adults and teenagers, is this quiet but powerful belief:

“My work is who I am.”

It rarely gets said so directly. Instead, it shows up in the way someone’s mood rises and falls entirely with workplace feedback. In the adult who feels not only frustrated in their job, but ashamed, as though their role defines their worth. In the student who believes choosing the “wrong” qualification will determine their entire identity.

Somewhere along the way, a career becomes more than something we do. It becomes who we are.

And while work is important, meaningful work can bring purpose, growth, contribution,  it was never meant to carry the full weight of our identity.

When we place all our happiness on our job, we unknowingly ask it to meet every dimension of our wellbeing. We expect it to give us positive emotion, deep engagement, strong relationships, a sense of meaning, achievement and even health through financial security and structure.

In other words, we expect work to fulfil the entire PERMA-H model of wellbeing.

That’s an enormous burden for any one role to carry.

PERMA-H, a positive psychology model developed by Dr Martin Seligman,  reminds us that flourishing is multi-dimensional:

●      Positive Emotion – joy, calm, gratitude

●      Engagement – being absorbed and interested

●      Relationships – connection and belonging

●      Meaning – contributing to something bigger

●      Accomplishment – progress and mastery

●      Health – physical and psychological wellbeing

Work can contribute to many of these, sometimes beautifully. But it was never designed to be the sole source of all of them.

When we neglect the parts of ourselves outside of work, something begins to narrow. If work becomes difficult, as all jobs eventually do, our entire sense of self feels shaken, because it is all resting on one pillar.

But when you cultivate yourself as a whole person, something stabilises.

Your friendships meet your need for belonging in ways colleagues cannot.
Your hobbies offer engagement without performance pressure.
Your rest and movement protect your health.
Your spiritual or reflective practices deepen meaning beyond achievement.
Your small personal goals build accomplishment that isn’t tied to a salary.

Paradoxically, the more you invest in life beyond your job title, the healthier your relationship with work becomes.

I see this especially with students. Many young people feel pressure to turn every strength or interest into a career path. If they love art, it must become a profession. If they enjoy sport, it must become income-generating. If they are curious about psychology, it must define their future.

But not every interest needs to be monetised. Some parts of you exist simply because they bring joy. Some strengths are meant to enrich your life, not your CV. A hobby can remain a hobby.

For adults, reclaiming this balance often requires courage. It may mean rebuilding neglected friendships, trying something new without being good at it, or allowing yourself to rest without earning it. It may mean accepting that your job is one meaningful part of your life but not the only one.

Your career is one expression of you. It is not the totality of you.

When you remember that you are a whole person - relational, creative, physical, emotional, reflective - you begin to care for all facets of your wellbeing. And when those facets are nourished, work becomes something you engage with rather than something you depend on for identity.

Your job title may change many times in your life. Who you are is far more enduring.

And the more you build a life that reflects the fullness of who you are, not just your professional side, the more resilient, grounded, and free you become.

You are allowed to have a career. You are also allowed to have a life.